Notes from An Alien

~ Explorations In Reading, Writing, and Publishing ~

The Corporation’s Reach ~~ The People’s Suffering . . .


Yet another of my continuing series of Special Friday posts—Behind The Scenes of Notes from An Alien.

If you’re new to the blog, these posts often have “spoilers” of the short novel but you can grab a free copy and read it in a weekend :-)

Today I have more scenes not in the published novel—scenes about an area of one of the Worlds of Angi that was only briefly referenced in the book:

“Select Reports from the Angan Bonded Corporate Mesh:

“Mr. Ralm has authorized a 50% increase in common laborers at the ShipTwo site, said workers to be drafted from the Polar region of Magruma to ensure enough stamina to work shifts of 16 hours.”

These scenes also say a bit more about the weather changes the Corporate planet, Anga, had suffered.

A couple references from the novel:

“Agricultural production has been slightly affected by the uprising but greatly affected by the anomalous weather.”

~~~

“Preliminary results from the Global Meteorological Department’s recent analyses (aided by Corporate investigators) suggests possible connections between Corporate increases in population relocation and weather changes.”

~~~

‘”We think we have the beginnings of a plan to moderate the swings in weather. It means transporting people and playing with the plasma fields of the planet in ways we haven’t yet risked but the consensus is almost there for giving it a go.'”

If you’ve been following along reading these Friday posts, I’d love some feedback on the style of writing I’ve used in the following scenes

~~~~~~~~~

The children had organized themselves into a hunting party.

Crops, which took special care to raise in Magruma’s climate, were suffering.

Some said it was the Corporation—playing with the atmosphere

The oldest child, Halur, instructed the teams:

“Kria, Melso, Vorin, go south—circle back at ten times a hundred paces.”

“Slun, Elo, Wezar, same north.”

“Tur, Seldo, Rai, do a close circle here—trap what they chase.”

Halur climbed the rugged rock face on the long foot of the mountain—perched so she could watch the others. She thought hard

Need five animals. Six better. Might lose someone. Elo? Then five is what we do, go home Animals strange now—more tricks. Need time, don’t have it. Stupid Elders

~~~

The Elders of the village had not ordered the children out. They knew how dangerous the animals were now. Saw the weather worsen over nine years—saw the animals try to cope

If animals ate crops, nothing to do but eat animals.

The Corporation had finally reached them, making life extremely difficult.

The Chiefs had learned about the changes the Corporation was making in the weather. Now It stole people from them.

Twelve of the young men had been taken—something unintelligent about helping make a ship to travel to Anla—ridiculous.

Other villages had the same thing happening. The capital, Elclar, had sent the word, said obey or die.

~~~

The northern team had flushed out a small pack of Vezuls and were driving them toward center.

The largest Vezul was a female—nipped the pups as they ran—suddenly turned on the children, attacked Elo. Slun and Wezar beat the female to death, suffering wounds—Elo was dying, the younger Vezuls scattering.

Halur observed from her rock perch, thought: Knew it. But, a Vezul attacking? Worse and worse

~~~

Melvor sat at his desk in Elclar reading the reports.

100 villages, 1,500 men arriving.

His task was done but his feelings weren’t—roiling hatred—rotten fear—wishing the villagers used Simulated Recreation to ease the pain of young men stolen from their homes—knew their lives were permanently altered—turned the control knobs on the S. R. unit and entered his favorite location—young women stroking his body, sweet liquors rolling past his tongue

~~~

The Chief of the village addressed his people:

“We must be strong. Not the strength of the day but of the night—strength of healing.”

The villagers chanted agreement.

“The Chiefs of the Corporation took our best young men. We must still live, not  grieve forever—live strong with our Ancestors strength.”

The villagers chanted and wailed their agreement.

~~~

Halur sat with Melso on the shore of Ancestor Lake.

The Mother Planet, Beli, glowed in purple-pinks just over the water in the southern reaches of space.

They sat in adoring silence until Halur said:

“The Mother is brighter tonight.”

“Yes, she’s calming the Elders

“You believe that, Melso?”

“Maybe

“I don’t know what to believe. Too much changing too fast. Did we do right to hunt today?”

“Four animals is better than none.”

“Crops are better than animals, my stomach hurts.”

“Mine, too

“We have to be strong for the others

“Poor Elo

“Poor Elo

“Say the prayer, Halur.”

“It’s just words

“Say it to please me.”

Halur rose and lifted her arms to Beli.

“Dear, sweet Mother.

“We love you and marvel at your strength.

“Share your strength for we are sore hurt.

“We honor your beauty and crave your mercy.”

Melso stood and hugged Halur.

They stayed on the shore of Ancestor Lake for many painful minutes, staring at the Mother and hoping the myths were true
~~~~~~~~~
Read more Behind the Scenes posts…
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2 responses to “The Corporation’s Reach ~~ The People’s Suffering . . .

  1. Jane Watson October 14, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    This made me think… it is so immoral that children should be used in any kind of warfare – their being forced into taking on the fight against the Vezuls etc is so reminiscent of the ways young boys are ‘conscripted’ into teenage armies in many war torn areas of the world today. Their desparate attempt to hang on to some vestige of humanity and spirituality in the face of the awfulness of their existence is shown in the prayer to the Mother Planet, Beli, at the end and is very moving…

    Like

    • Alexander M Zoltai October 14, 2013 at 8:01 pm

      Jane,

      I find it very interesting you see the children’s hunt as a “war”—though, I admit, I do write to leave lots of “space” for the reader to visualize their own story :-)

      Like

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