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Weird. I just watched “We Live in Public” last night, for the first time. Sigh, yes, I tend to run a few years behind…
One of the main points I got from this documentary was how we’ve (some of us) begun to measure our worth, eg. how many “friends” do I have, how many “likes” does my post get or is my blog getting enough hits? Am I “popular”????? (The same observation as you.)
Personally, I do care about those I make a connection with in the virtual world. And I agree with you. Some sites are conducive to building connections. Others are less so.
We Live In Public was a scary, grimy, depressing movie…
I experience this almost daily – the want for fewer more intimate friendships instead of the plethora of shallow ones that I have “friended” through social media. Like you, some of my best friends are avatars who frequent Book Island – and that includes you :)
Yay, Book Island :-)
I spent about a week on Google+, joining only the circles related to NaNoWriMo, and *only* if the owner of the circle seemed to be a serious writer. Total circles: about 16. Plus one acquaintance, one friend. I finally realized there was no way to be selective enough to eliminate the yada yada you find everywhere on the web. The noise to signal ratio was completely out of control. Last night, I deleted all my information and posts. Unfortunately, there seems to be no way to close my account, but at least I turned off all notifications.
The most valuable relationships I have online have always been from blogging. I’ve tried just about everything else, and always abandoned them as a waste of my time. The relationships are often short-lived, but while they last, they’re satisfying because the discussions are about shared interests and concerns. I don’t have to block Utube videos of kittens, or of performers I’ve never heard of, information about someone’s addiction to caffeine or chocolate, or the latest memes and jokes. Those things don’t interest me in real life, and they’re no more enjoyable on the net. But they are much more intrusive, making it that much harder to find real relationships.
Catana,
I really resonated to your saying this: “I don’t have to block Utube videos of kittens, or of performers I’ve never heard of, information about someone’s addiction to caffeine or chocolate, or the latest memes and jokes.”
I might add that the only thing worse is the way people take any of those posts and re-share them–adding to the noise…
I’ve made a smaller Circle recently of those whose posts I enjoy. If those get too noisy, I’m out………
Maybe that’s the way to do it, a small circle of those you already know might be interesting to talk to. When it comes down to it, the kind of socializing that large networking sites require just isn’t comfortable for me. I love blogging, and it seems to be the best way to make real connections. There’s something to be said for blogs that attract hundreds of readers, but then I look at someone like Zoe Winters, who shut down comments because there were too many voices competing for her attention, many of them with their own agendas. I’d rather have fewer subscribers and keep the comments. And the freedom to write as I choose to, which she’d also lost.
Catana,
One thing that my time in Second Life and on social networking sites has done is to limit my ability to visit other blogs and comment–including yours :-(
Ever since I began pursuing connections I’ve been in flux about the mix…
It may always be that way………
We each have a different mix. We try and discard until we find the mix that’s most comfortable. I read far more blogs than I comment on, which still lets me “listen in” to conversations. Sometimes a comment from someone new will lead me to a blog I wasn’t aware of before. It may turn out to be one to just read or one to participate in now and then. Also, becoming familiar with the names of commenters, I learn that there is a loosely connected community with some interests shared, and some quite different from each other.
Social media is definitely a double-edged sword. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with all the shouting, but how else is a poor author supposed to get the word out? We can’t exactly afford an ad campaign. Word of mouth is our best friend, hence, lots of mouths.
Yes, Karla, double-edged, at least–perhaps medusa-headed…
One thing I’ve been doing, as I give away free copies of my book, is gathering the email addresses.
When the second book comes out, I’ll have a mailing list :-)
I find the sharing of some folks more interesting than others. Whether I can say I CARE for these people that I know ONLY from social network sites ummmmm. . . I do know I often grow to care for folks I meet as my avatar in Second Life and opensim wolrds. Like any relationship, it is about content not just contact or time spent together. I use the same criteria I use in F2F relationships: Do you make me smile; do you make me think; do you make me feel like dancing into a new adventure once in awhile? If you do, I LIKE you and if I LIKE you, I DO CARE about you. IMHO you are making our world a better place. We need as many people doing that as possible. I CARE about the world being a better place, full of creativity folks with the freedom to express ourselves.
Gwenette,
Wonderful — “content not just contact”.
*CREATIVE FOLKS
Gwenette,
Your second comment makes me feel like I’m in SL — Whoot !! :-)
I definitely feel that my blog is my space in a way that the social networks aren’t.
As for commenting, I think it takes a much higher energy investment to comment on a blog, especially than to, say, plus one a post. I run into people at conventions who tell me how much they like the blog and I had no idea they were even reading it. Yet somehow there was a connection made there all the same.
Yes, Amy, it’s definitely true that there are folks reading and appreciating my blog–the research I’ve done on blogs and commenting “proves” it to me.
Energy investment is the key and its consideration drives my effort to continue learning “how” to blog (without losing who I am in the process–i.e., becoming a mere “content-creator”).
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Reblogged this on Things I grab, motley collection .
Thanks, plerudulier, I feel it’s an important post…
I thinks so too which is why I reblogged it. Thank you for taking time to leave a comment.
Comments are the Life-Blood of this blog :-)